A wee yarn aboot yer annual RBMCC weekend 'Away Wahay'...
to parts Northern o' yer Bonnie Alba.

Bikes an' bikin' are about freedom an' a wee bit o' free thinking intae the bargain...
an here's a wee bit o' free thinkin'....
Let's start this yarn in the middle of the Away Wahay 2 weekend, as in....

Saturday's Ride:

Initially on the Saturday mornin' there wis a wee bit o' drizzle. But, once 5 miles frae Ullapool, we then had a dry day and a fantastic ride up an' around the West Coast road. We were ridin' North, then East along the north coast road intae Tongue; where we decided to have some scran.

Didnae need tae eat much as we still hadnae recovered frae the hugh mung gus brekkie. So we left Tongue after only a wee soup - that wiz affie waarrm - mine an' no burn yer tongue !!!

But this was only after some idiot had encouraged all riders tae stick there unburnt tongues well oot while pozzin' aside a 'Tongue' road sign. See yer Gaz seemed tae think that lookin' back on it; this would be a wee moment o' light stupidity in pikchurr form and might be remembered fondly.

So anyway, post oor 3.00pm late lunch; we mounted oor steeds an' retraced oor route back towards Durness. This was to a turn off that had been noted on they way intae Tongue - signposted for Altnaharra - which was where we were heading.

Thing is... this wisnae the desired road tae Altnaharra ..... oh no !

Grass or Tarmac !?

The correct road was in fact, on the other side of Tongue, from the way we came in. This detail had though escaped yer run leader. THis was partly due to the lack of a route recce. But the more telling aspect was his new found laidbackness - as in, not even bothering too look at the map in his tank bag ! How laid back is that !?

So there we are, turning into this road that yer man up front has pictured in his mind as a secondary road ….however within a few hundred yards, it's pretty clear that it's more like a sixthly or seventhly kinda road.

After about a mile tha run is pulled up, to ensure all are happy to continue. Amazingly we are - this cool dude thing seems tae work. The end game is that after a further near 12 miles, we all reach the end in one piece despite partly travelling on grass… nah no' the smokin' kind.

Speeds an' bein followed:

As a wee by the way: there were no 'concerns' all weekend. This goes a little way to assure that the rideout methods put the 'gither by yer Gaz, are fine an' work well.

(See Rideout Guidlines - under Events)

A central principle of this is - that everyone rides at their own pace and on no account ever tries to keep up; or for that matter, worries about who's behind. Simply wave them through, if you feel rushed.

With the regularity of stops we have, like every 45min to 1 hour; then speed differences have little effect: so there is absolutely no pressure to keep to an overall run pace …it's kinda back to the freedom of the individual to ride free an' all that.

Horses, Scenery an' Roads !!!

Anyway back to the 'grass' route...

The best bit o' this, being on oor wee near off road route to Altnaharra... the feeding of the white horses: properly called grey's, why, I know not. See piccies.

The Saturday run was 190 miles and with 190 miles of it in stunning scenery.

Cam Loch was probably the finest... a moment where we all stopped as in 'auto pilot'.... we had to.

It was a sea bay with a fine translucent an' graduated blue in it' waters that we had all thought only occurred in the seas o' the Caribbean and the like. The piccie on the web, as good as it is, doesn't do it any justice; ach ye had to be there.

A final point was that though we endured the 'grass route' road to Altnaharra, all the other roads were affie fine in two ways.

Firstly the surfaces were absolutely fantastic; ye'll have seen the piccies on da web. But on top o' this, was that many o' the bends had open views through and were blessed wae many a fantastic continuous radius. Dropping the bike in' an sittin' there on a balanced to opening throttle…… ach if ye wurnie there, then ye missed yersel's…….

So a fine Saturday ride then.

But what about the Friday and the Sunday rides. Ah well, where dae a start…mmmm ?

Let's start at the beginning then; wae the Friday.

Friday's Ride:

We had spilt into two groups for the ride up - danged free radicals !

See there was a group who decided to head up to Ullapool, on the Loch Ness via Fort William route. By all accounts this was a pleasant and incident free run up.

But, the main pertie were stickin' to the Crieff, Dunkeld, Blairgowrie, Braemar, Grantown route as had been planned - a ride that was goin' particularly well frae Cambuslang tae Crieff….until !!!

We'd jus finished a pricey bit o' munch as we all helmeted up to leave to relish the ride up the Sma' Glen. But, wid ye believe it... the run leader couldnae find his keys !!!

Keys whit keys ?

Doh, Doh an' double Doh ! Ah'll cut the followin' m'larkey short, suffice tae say, Twinloon ended up riding back wae a new pillion, tae fetch the spare set back in sunny Glesguh by the sea.

The rest of the group who were a very patient an' fine bunch - post an' hours delay - then decided to ride up the A9 to save time. The end result o' all this was the two groups; the Fort William'rs an' new A9'rs arrivin' in Ullapool a guid 3 hours ahead o' the gruesome twosome.

This was o' course, Twinloon an yer Gaz on his 'black stinger', wae his second set o' keys….

The reason for this extended delay, was that yer Gaz an' Twinloon had come up via the original route..... suffice to say that the Bee Emm Wubbluu rider, once he arrived intae Grantown, thought he'd jist had one o' the best rides o' his life. This made yer Gaz well happy, as it made up for the hassle suffered by the rider on the 'nice but common bike' in havin' tae ride back wae his numptie mate to fetch keys…..

So we all eventually arrived in Ullapool…. well yes an' no !?

Long range fuel !

There was one mair wee twist to the day...see, a new member, make that very very new, had advised he was leaving late on the Friday: leaving at 7.00pm to then head for Ullapool up the A9. Yer man was oan his chopper type thingy 'Yamahaha Virgo'.

Now knowin' that he'd be arriving mebbes aroun' 11.30pm, yer organiser popped oot o' the bar of the Arch Inn we were stayin' at to check for a sign o' an approachin' banadana or sounds o' Steppenwolf ('Easy Rider' for those unner twinty). Increddybubble, but at this very moment, there it wis, a single headlight purrin' along the harbour road towards us. About fifty metres away, the purrin' stopped as the engine is cut an' the chopper thingy cruises to a halt beside yer Gaz....Now he'd thought then, whit a cool arrival. But, thing of it was, the coastin' was more to do with the bike runnin' oot o' go go joose !

Now, arrivin an cutting oot wae an' emptee reserve tank an' fifty yards to go seems uncanny….. Until later, when we are all in the bar and the rider is asked; "Where did ye last fill up then ?" We all thought maybe Aviemore or summit. The answer given; "Er, I filled up at Burnside an' that was it." Whit !!! If readin' this yer thinkin'; thee Burnside, the wan next tae Cambuslang, then yer right !!! Yep he'd left hame an rode the whole 225 miles on one tank: the last 60 miles on reserve….. eeeeccchhh !

So that was yer Friday …a fine Inn for all to kip in, an' rooms wae power showers no less, that offered the finest o' massages …..all apart that is, for two brave souls in tents: mebbe they massaged each other ?

Sunday's Ride:

So on the Sunday morn' after another very fine brekkie of as many slices o' toast as ye could eat, as much cereal an fruit juice likewise, topped oot wae a full cooked....we considered oor run down an back home.

By this point the mileage was just on 420 for some - the Loch ness an' the A9'rs. While for others, aka Twinloon, it was nearer to 590m. Uncannily, yer Gaz oan tha 'Black Stinger' was the only bike wae the 'correct' (as planned) mileage of 480 miles …ironic or whit !

But there was yet another mutiny to planned routes as the Fort William'rs persuaded the majority tae head down via the 'Ness' an' Fort William again.....

Yer man's original plan, had been a ride down via the Torridons (Mountains) aroon the Gairloch, Kinlochewe an Lochcarron an' then ontae tae Fort William - bunch o' mutineerin' wooses !

End o' yarn:

In all, a very fine weekend wae a few things goin' awry to make life interestin'…..
Some fine craic, plentee o' laughs an' as promised some stunnin' riding an' scenery on fantastic roads.

Yer Gaz wid like to offer a wee thanks to all who came along.

Cos see, the bottom line is that without ye all, it couldnae o' happened…so thanks.

Afore closin'…. a few wee thoughts to linger on….
1) Toughen up yer butts for next year… ya big girls blouses that ye's urr !
2) Also, don't forget whit Twinloon said after his Friday ride up…….(see earlier highlighted text).

Next years Away Wahay 3 is already in the plannin' stages an' is lookin' like a two stopper at differin' accommodation. Who knows mebbe next year, ah'll lead some bikes roon the Torridons an' we'll say hello tae John.... o' actin' the Goat !

WEE FOOTNOTE.....

Yer Gaz actually had his key...it had become lost through a burst inner lining on his leathers and loged in ...well lets just say, his 'nether regions' !

Ye see, there had been much feeling and padding of legs to see if key was inside the lining.... but sadly none of the ladies had offered a quick 'fondle' !

One had suggested a strip... however these wise words hadn't been taken up. The thinking being, if it's not down ma twa legs; then it's no anywhere.

Imagine it bein' nestled all day doon by his third leg an goin' unnoticed till that night.

Worth noting though that the Gaz 'wisely' kept schtoom on this: the truth only coming out, some four months later.

Lesson learn't though:

On big trips like this, bring a spare and give it to a mate: it may be handy.

Cheers all

Gaz 42